Coffee with All4Cure - Ramae

I was a high school math teacher before I was diagnosed with myeloma. I was teaching at a charter school in Minnesota and taught for five years. I’m also a long-distance runner. I ran in high school and college and I was running up to the day that I fell and broke my hip. When I think of my life in a snapshot, that was it. Lots of teaching. Lots of running. Now, my life has completely changed. I no longer teach. Like most myeloma patients, there’s probably no way I could be in a building with all those kids and my struggling immune system. So, I don’t work. I write. After my stem cell transplant, I started a blog to stay sane and do something while I was spending all those hours on the couch. Then, I started writing for a blood cancer website and that’s what I do now. I call myself a freelance writer because it sounds cool! Recently, I’ve been writing a whole blog series on turning 50 and all of the new things that I’ve done since turning 50. It’s kind of my respite from the stress of COVID. I try to ask myself ‘How can I turn this around, how can I do new things?’ It’s been kind of amazing, really, to just get out of that stressful mindset. I did have to turn off the TV and I no longer watch the news. I had to get away from the negativity. Immersing myself in new things has definitely been a game-changer.

Right after my stem cell transplant, I adopted a dog! I got home from the hospital one day and the next day, I went and picked up a puppy. My caregiver drove me a couple hours to another part of Minnesota to pick up my Labradoodle puppy, Ziggy. Probably, in hindsight, it was a really bad idea, but it has kept me going. I happened to get this really crazy, high-energy dog at a time that I had no energy! I spend a lot of time with him and he’s kind of become my best friend and caregiver of sorts. I was thinking I wanted a ‘therapy dog’ because I was really sick and depressed after my transplant. I needed something to hold on to and all my kids were away. So, I adopted Ziggy. As it turned out, he got me off the couch and outside walking-- two things that probably wouldn’t have happened nearly as quickly if I didn’t have him. He just turned two and he keeps me busy on my feet. Some days I don’t have the energy that’s required for a high-energy dog like that, but I have no regrets.

I’ve been alone a lot more than I would have because of the pandemic. That has been tough, but it has also been really good for me. It forces me to rely on myself a little bit more. I don’t have a caregiver anymore, it’s just me. I’ve actually developed a pretty healthy habit of meditation. Through that, I discovered a love for ice cold showers. I know, it sounds crazy! Along with myeloma I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was frustrated at the lack of resources for pain management and symptom management. One of the things I do for meditation is called the Wim Hof method. It's basically an old technique of yogic breathing that Hof combines with ice baths. I have not taken my first ice bath yet, but I do take cold showers almost everyday, as cold as it can get. I know it sounds crazy, but that one thing has made the biggest difference in how I feel. I’m still kind of new to it, but I’m absolutely committed. It can be thirty seconds, all the way up to five minutes. I’m not even there yet with the five-minute shower, I’m up to about three minutes, full cold, all the way in. It is nothing short of exhilarating! Since I’ve been doing meditation regularly,I have experienced just moments where, for no reason, I’m just happy. I’m happy when I see my dog, I’m happy to be here, and I’m happy to not be in the hospital. Those are moments of joy when I realize I still have so much.