Coffee with All4Cure - Nicole

While working as a geriatric social worker for 25 years, many centenarians came through our facility. They were all over a hundred years old and always full of wise words. I remember them telling me, ‘Don’t ever go to bed angry, and choose your battles in life.’ Back in my twenties I probably thought it was stupid, but they all had that mentality. The ones who made it to a hundred years old made it there with a smile on their face. Even though a lot of them were stuck in a wheelchair, they were cognitively still there. A person’s outlook on life definitely is 98%, 99% of the battle. You can turn everything into something positive. Everything. Even with me getting cancer, I can turn it into something positive. It’s made me take the time to step back. Life’s short, even when you’re not dealing with a chronic illness. I look at my kids, my oldest one is going to be thirty soon. I look at her and she is still a little baby to me, everything just goes so fast. I’m proud to see how successful my kids are. You know, when you’re dealing with your mortality it’s nice to see that you’ve made good and productive kids. They’re neat humans, they all have their unique outlooks on life. I look to them and remember to enjoy life and not sweat the small stuff.

I really want to get the word out about myeloma and how often it can go undiagnosed. I went five years and had five spine surgeries before they finally diagnosed me. I feel that the medical field failed me. I’m a part of that field and I didn’t even know what to look for. Education about this disease can suck and you have to be your own advocate for everything. Everything. If you don’t feel good, you have to fight. You have to ask the question ‘Why don’t I feel good?’ because you should feel good, you’re a healthy body. I eat pretty much a vegan diet, I exercise everyday--there was no reason for me not to be feeling good. I went five years without being diagnosed. To receive a diagnosis, especially from a psychology, social worker background, there is definitely a grieving process. At first you’re relieved, and then you get mad and angry. I went through every single stage, just like you do when someone dies. All I could ask was ‘well, what am I gonna do?’ You can’t wallow in your own pity, you can’t be miserable. It’s going to impact everyone else around you. I have every right to be angry and mad and sad, but I choose to be happy and get myself up and going. I don’t feel good most of the time but I get up, put my makeup on, and get dressed. Bad things happen to you in life, and yes, you can pity yourself but you have to take control. We choose to be happy in life. That’s not to say I don’t have my bad days. I have days where I cry. And then you get over it and you move on.

I’m really into nature. I’ve always wanted to travel and see all the parks in the world. My husband and I are able to travel a lot and we got an RV right in time for social distancing. It’s perfect for us! We just got back from a month-long trip up in Oregon where we hit all the state parks, waterfalls, and hot springs. It’s perfect for me because I can sleep during the days that I’m not feeling too hot, cook my own food, and self-contain. We did a nice walk on Lake Paulina in the Deschutes National Forest. About a mile in, there are natural hot springs that bubble out of the lake. People had made these little hot tubs all along the whole lake. It was pretty isolated, not many people know about it. It was just pure joy to be out there with my husband and our dog, our feet soaking in this hot water coming out from the earth, being with earth. I’ve also been having interactions with a lot of bald eagles in the last year. It’s been very bizarre! Each spot that we’ve gone to, bald eagles have just flown by. When we were at the hot spring, a bald eagle landed right behind us! It was very odd and cool. I don’t know what the world is trying to tell me, but it must be something!