Coffee with All4Cure - Joan
- kati810
- Aug 18, 2020
- 3 min read
I met my husband Tim at a church where he was playing piano in Janesville, WI. I asked him if he played professionally and we have been together ever since, married for 37 years. Before settling in the Burlington, VT area, we lived in Cochabamba, Bolivia working with a food for work project. After moving back to the states, life became busy, raising kids, finishing grad school to become a licensed psychotherapist, building several homes, while traveling with our kids to many third-world countries. As parents, we shared a personal belief that we wanted our kids to know that most of the world lives in poverty and when possible to do something about it. More recently, as empty-nesters, we moved to Austin, TX, where I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and eventually treatment was needed to get it under control including my first stem cell transplant on October 26, 2017. As I was laying in the hospital bed, my husband announced that he was booking a trip to Europe to celebrate my first six months of recovery. He was honoring my desire to travel someplace 'more normal and developed'. I told him that he should buy trip insurance, which he did, and to my surprise, six months later, we were touring Holland, Brussels, and France. Some days, I walked eight miles. When I think back, that fills me with joy--that I have a husband who cares so much about me that he planned a trip to encourage me to get out of the bed and start living my life again.

Tim and I live in a 500 square foot tiny home that we absolutely love, which has literally brought us closer together. Tim has turned out to be an amazing husband, father, grandfather, and an amazing caregiver. He would die for me! We were talking in bed the other night and I was worried about paying the copay for Revlimid. He told me that it is not about money. 'If it takes all our money away and we file for bankruptcy--you are worth it'. He is an example of kindness. He is a new-product development engineer and any type of project that could save the world such as affordable housing, food, and clean water, he is all-in. He does not need money or any other recognition if his product could save a life, and his philosophy is what I admire about him... It’s called character, and he has an incredible amount of it.

I received some good advice from my mentor when I was in grad school. I was honored to be selected for training by the head psychologist of an outpatient treatment center. His advice to me was to be mindful, be intentional, stay in the moment, breathe, visualize my happy place, and know what I can and cannot control. Currently, I am beginning treatment followed with a second stem cell transplant soon, during a PANDEMIC! Unfortunately, there is a lot of uncertainty when dealing with Multiple Myeloma, but I draw comfort from the belief that faith can bring about some level of certainty. My mentor also told me to take my adversities and come out on the other side with hope and understanding, spiritual and psychological growth. I have learned that I am NOT my disease… I just experience a disease. There is so much more about me than focusing on just my disease. Living with Multiple Myeloma has taught me to worry less and be more mindful of enjoying and living in the moment.
